September 3, 2019

Why Social Media is Unhealthy for Couples: Part 1

Social Media in a short time has become the only media people consume and get their information from. Whether it be Trump coming up with policy at a whim on Twitter to watching gender reveals on YouTube. There is no shortage of content to keep us too busy on screens to focus on the story of our own lives. However what happens when it is us that is making the story available for others to see? What happens when we make our private life public? We love to post pictures on Instagram with our new boo or bae as the kids call it today. That is all well and sweet but if and when the relationship ends; what do you do? Do you go back and delete all those pictures like they are a memory in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Or are you bold enough to leave that history up for all to see and leave it to the investigation of your future partner?

People grow apart for all the right reasons. No that was not a typo. There are in my opinion great reasons to grow apart. You no longer have the same interest or goals in life. In a way you become the best of friends and may even love each other however you can not see yourself with that person forever; worst you didn’t contemplate that thought until you read it here. It’s best to end it as friends before it leads to more nefarious reasons to grow apart. One of the main reasons that people grow about is FOMO which stands for Fear Of Missing Out. Individuals have a want, no, a need to be part of something bigger. There is nothing bigger than the internet. Social media perpetuates that 10 fold. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really think social media alone can cause the end of your relationship. However, it is akin to a safe driver that does not put on a seatbelt. One wrong move and you’re flying out that car window. In this case, the window is a breakup or divorce. Social Media magnifies insecurities in both of you. It highlights developing issues, it hits all the triggers and adds fodder to any argument.


When I was in high school and university there was no Social Media and Facebook was really all about keeping up with friends between class since it was cheaper than texting. Yes, kids, there was a time when cellular companies charged us to send and receive a text on our phones. When I had a conflict with my partner we talked it out or wrote each other letters. There was no input from anyone else other than our inner circle friends. There were no public judgments of disapproval from the family members we don’t even talk to or people we call friends but only say hello to maybe once a year at most. It’s a very strange world we live in where at any moment a random bold person can popup in your DM (Direct Messages) to share affection you used to have work to get. It can be very hard to ignore such advances especially if you are not getting any attention in your relationship.

Today love it or not couples have to deal with a “Like” on the other’s posts. Status updates to hundreds of strangers seem normal. I am not playing like I am above it all. However, having had a horrible breakup in my youth and not being mature enough to handle it like an adult; I posted some very unflattering things about my partner. I am thankful I did it for a number of reasons. 1. I learned at an early age that putting your private life on Social Media is reckless, stupid and shows how more about your bad character rather than anything your ex did. 2. It forced me to deal with the backlash from strangers I didn’t even know. 3. I am super thankful it was a time when Facebook was not yet what it is today and I could srub the hell out of those post. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Why Social Media is Unhealthy for Couples: Part 2 I will list the main reasons why social media is unhealthy for couples.

Part 2

Originally published on Saintel Daily